While preparing to become Mrs. Quinn I had no intentions of posting anything remotely Pinterestey or sappy or bitchy because I could never reel it back in. I saved my pins for Pinterest, the bitching for my friends and the sappy to myself. If I had let
that crazy out who knows what could have happened.
I said Yes to the ring and said Yes to the Dress, picked out my colors, registered gifts and the fiance has been an absolute teammate throughout it all. Now what is there to bitch about? Getting it over with, finally. There were some amazing life lessons learned through this process so far so in my usual cocky fashion let me let you in on some wedding secrets, do's and don'ts and how to save your sanity should you decide to spend a year preparing for one day of your life. ONE DAY.
That's the key here, it's one day. And not really even that. It's like, 6 hours of your life. Barring arrests, wardrobe malfunctions, weather (really? An outdoor wedding in Houston? Who DOES that?) illness and attendance, the wedding really can't go
that wrong. Now I know various mishaps with vendors, more people showing up than there were RSVPS and the DJ being a complete bore are on the short list of disasters but the day is about celebrating the union with your soul mate. Not who wore what, how your mother tried to make it her day, how drunk your uncle got, who hooked up or that you never could quite get that back fat to tuck into the dress. Don't even get me started on the body prep for this event....entirely different blog post.
My philosophy in life is becoming "well, if things go wrong, then it just becomes part of the story doesn't it?". That is what this wedding has taught me. When we first met with the wedding coordinator at the church she handed me a list of rules that we had to follow for the ceremony. Flowers and decor could not be stapled to any part of the building or property. Ok, check. Only the candles at the alter could be lit, besides the unity candle. Ok...um.. that's cool. No flash photography during the ceremony. Ok, they better mean just flash photography is not allowed, not photography in general. Alright...and then, flower girls and ring bearers cannot be any younger than 3. There are age restrictions on my wedding party? This one threw me for a loop.
My fiance's Goddaughter Eleanor was being thought of at this time as our flower girl and by the time of the big day she would be almost 2. With all her cuteness and gloriousness, almost 2.
"Why?" I asked. In my mind I was thinking diaper leaks down the aisle or drooling and Cheeto fingers touching unsuspecting guests and or church property. For sure there has to be a good reason for this RULE that was printed in black and white on this document that I had to sign.
"Well should they get upset or not walk down the aisle right, it tends to upset some brides and ruin the ceremony."
Some brides.
"Ma'am, with all due respect, I am not
some bride. Actually I'm planning on Eleanor to not perform properly and be the cuteness most adorable flower girl ever. If she steals my thunder, then so be it. It will become part of our story." And with that, Eleanor was in the wedding.
From that point on I decided what ever was going to go wrong I was not going to let it ruin my experience or my expectations of the big day. At this very moment my rent house is about to be dug up to fix plumbing issues and the roach problem hasn't exactly been taken care of. Did I mention we have guests staying with us? It will all work out. Oh, and while writing this post my hairdresser texted me to tell me she broke her arm. Excellent!
Perhaps I'm deluding myself in thinking it will all come together. I will be getting married in 30 days and let me peel back the curtain to showcase the parts of my to-do list which have not been completed yet:
1. Suit rentals for my son and nephew
2. Budget on flowers. What budget? Haven't gotten a quote. Also, I'm just trusting this girl to get it all right. Sent pictures of examples of what I want, hope they turn out nice!
3. Run through of makeup. Hope this girl is good...
4. Gifts for parents and grandparents.
5. Gift card box for present table at reception.
6. Easel, frame and matting for picture guest book.
7. Finish program and print.
8. Welcome cards to put into party favors.
9. Get those fake tea lights for the centerpieces.
10. Day of schedule - this is going to be the most important!
11. Day of supplies: sewing kit, steamer, drinks, food
12. Anything else that comes up....
I'm doing pretty good...I have people by my side that I trust and that I PRAY will not let me down. As I said before my fiance has been AMAZING. Always asking what he can help with, take care of for me, etc so my experience in planning this wedding has been lessons in teamwork, compromise, staying true to self and love.
If I could give any advice to future brides it would be to calm down, ask for help, stick to your decisions and don't sweat the small stuff. Your future Mother-in-law is never going to stop being judgmental of your color choices or what your bridesmaids end up wearing. Your Dad is going to keep reminding you just how much he is paying for everything and suggest cutting costs on everything. Your maid of honor is going to interject herself into every decision and order the extra hairy stripper for the bachelorette party. There is nothing you can do about it. Communicate to your partner and set guidelines and expectations and give yourself some wiggle room for when things don't go exactly as planned.
And if you can't accept my hippy way of going through life then please, by all means. Freak out about everything. See how far that gets you. You will never have the wedding of your dreams because it's all unreal expectations, but you can come close! You can have a great time and still pull it off you just have to go with the flow.....
We'll see if I keep my own advice as the days get closer....wish me luck!
